Trying to help people avoid being targeted does NOT mean we blame them if they are victimized

Personal Defense Connection
3 min readJun 21, 2023

I came across an article the other day on the USCCA website entitled Situational Awareness is NOT “Preemptive Victim Blaming

The article tells of a woman who accused those of us who share self-defense tips of blaming victims for becoming victimized. She called it “Preemptive Victim Blaming.”

In other words, if they didn’t follow our advice and became a victim, we would say it was their own fault. A “that’s what you get” kind of thing.

I have found many, many other articles where women are angry about the tips/advice; don’t wear headphones, get off your phone, pay attention to your surroundings, don’t walk down dark alleys, lock your doors, etc. etc. etc.

To be honest, a lot of those tips pertain to anyone. Not just women. Anyone can be targeted.

Regardless of who the advice is aimed at, I understand the unfairness. Because it ISN’T fair. Everyone has the right to do whatever lawful thing they want to do. We shouldn’t have to worry about being attacked by anyone.

We should be able to walk down those dark alleys, wear headphones, leave our doors and windows unlocked, enjoy sitting on a park bench without having to constantly look around.

“Why don’t you just tell men to stop attacking people”

I’ve seen that statement, or something similar, on many social posts. They ask why we always tell people how to stay safer when we should be telling evil people to stop being evil. (And it isn’t just men anymore doing the attacking.)

If only that would work! What a utopia it would be if we could simply tell people to stop breaking the law. Stop attacking and killing people. Stop being cruel. Stop lying, stealing, raping, abusing. Stop doing evil things! Just stop it!

But there is no utopia. Utopias don’t exist. As long as there are people in this world, evil will exist. And evil people do evil, unlawful things.

So I will continue to share self defense, defensive mindset, and threat awareness tips, advice and information.

If you don’t like the advice and tips, you don’t have to follow any of them. You can ignore them. It’s your prerogative and your right. It’s your right to do whatever legal thing you want to do. You don’t have to change your lifestyle. That’s your decision.

And I sincerely hope that you will never be targeted by an evil person. I wish you only a safe and good life.

And if you do become a victim, it will NOT be your fault. I will never blame you. The attacker is the one to blame. Not you. Not ever.

But please keep in mind, we who give self defense and personal safety tips are not preemptively victim blaming. We are just hoping that following our advice might keep you from being targeted by an evil attacker.

~ Shereen

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Personal Defense Connection

Self Defense, Threat Awareness, Defensive Mindset, Firearms. I want to help people learn how to be safer. It's that simple. (PDC is on Tumblr)