To Speak, or not to Speak (to strangers), that is the question.
I read an article the other day that had the following suggestion:
“If someone who is coming toward you makes you feel uneasy, you can often thwart a potential confrontation by acknowledging that person as a human being — saying “hey” or “good morning,” for example.” ~ 17 Self-Defense Tips That Will Make You Safer Right Now
My first reaction was “NO!” While I should make eye contact, I should NOT speak. That could give the person the idea that I am open to conversation.
If someone makes me feel uneasy, I do not want to start a conversation with them. There’s a reason they make me feel uneasy. My gut is telling me to be aware.
For all I know, they could be a predator looking for a victim. And speaking to them could make me their next target because they might now look at me as approachable.
I immediately made an info-meme for my Tumblr page and titled it “Beware Bad Advice.” (I wrote an article about bad advice here on Medium.)
But before posting the info-meme, I asked my husband his thoughts on the quote. His answer surprised me.
He said he didn’t see a problem saying “Hey” or “How’s it going” to the person. He didn’t think it would invite conversation and that it would let the person know that he was aware of them.
Then it hit me. He was thinking like a guy. And I was thinking like a woman. Yah… I know. What a profound revelation, right?
In my mind, the person I envisioned who was making me feel uneasy was a guy. And I know that male predators many times choose women as targets because they feel that we are easier victims.
So I guess that the advice isn’t necessarily bad (even though I personally think it is). I guess it depends on how you look at the situation. And, since every situation is indeed different, speaking to the person might not make you a target.
But I will stick with my original gut feeling and not say anything so as to not seem like I’m starting a conversation. In fact, if I can, I’ll choose to leave the area. Extreme reaction? Maybe. But so what? The guy’s making me uneasy. Why hang around? Better safe than sorry.
Of course, any action you take (or don’t take) should be based on each individual situation. But keep in mind, if someone is making you feel uneasy, there’s usually a good reason. Your gut knows things. Listen to it.
~ Shereen
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